If you’re part of the family and close friends, you know that the kids and I have been in Bacolod since Chinese New Year last year. So that’s more than a year of “away” from my hubby and their papa Joey. Literally speaking, it’s 1 month to go… that is, 1 month to GO to China. The thought of leaving gives me mixed emotions – happy and sad at the same time.
HAPPY TO GO – mainly because our family will be together day in and day out. My husband will definitely enjoy time with our kids, especially time with his little princess, as it is Meimei’s first time to join us there. Sure enough he’s also looking forward to coming home, sleep, and wake up with his lovely wife beside him (*wink*). The kids will take pleasure in the strong arms of their dad when he carries them. Oh yeah, their dad’s a GIANT (as EJ sees his papa). Not only that, we can have out sandwich kisses and hugs anytime we want to! We can worship and pray together… It is mainly family time that makes me very excited and happy we will finally GO!
However, part of me is saddened by the thought of leaving mainly because in Jiaxing, it’s only the 4 of us… No LO and BOYERO families to go through happy and difficult times that will come along. The house atmosphere for the kids will be very different… When they wake up there won’t be Ama checking the room and no Angkong to bring Meimei (with her smelly overnight diaper on) to open the store, no Budin to play with and roam around the house to look for EJ when he’s in school and to call “Meimei” when she sees yaya Angel. No Koko and the rest of the family members, including cousins, aunts and uncles to play with my little boy and little Miss. Our friends will also be different, ones that Meimei will have to spend time to feel at home with. Thinking about the people I’ll miss, the kids will miss, makes me cry… It’s going to be heart breaking when I see Meimei chat with the family, especially with Ama and Angkong, hug the PC monitor wanting to be carried. I’ve seen that with EJ the first time we left Bacolod and tears rolled down my cheeks. I am certain I’ll witness this scenario again, probably worse because Meimei is very much attached to my in-laws.
Aside from the happy sad feelings, there is another feeling that I don’t know how to describe. The thought, ” I don’t know what to expect” keeps popping up when I think of China. The fact that I’ve been there before makes me all the more aware of the difficulty we’re about to face. In 2007 I had only Elisha with me but now, I have Meimei too. I have to help EJ adjust once again, take care of Meimei and be a wife to Joey. Oh well… This is the life I’m called to live now and with God’s guidance and strength, no matter what comes along, I will come out better.
Brighter days are up ahead so I will not fear because the Lord has prepared Joey, the kids and me for this next step in our journey as a family… May the LORD always be with us.
Hi Car,
Do you know that while reading the saddened part I cried. I also got mixed emotions. Hahha… first, i really pity Mei2… I hope she will not have a hard time adjusting. Huo, naluoy gid ko sa iya coz she needs to adjust gid sa damo2… esp the way i see her, she’s not as trusting as EJ. She’s so comfortable with people at home and suddenly everybody’s gone. I hope God will protect her from feeling abandoned. Amo gid na pinakalain. Maybe amo na fear ko nga batyagon ni Mei2 kay amo na ang isa ka butang nga gin experience ko during childhood that until now is affecting me.
2nd, I also wish di lang amo na ka layo ang China that we can still be together man gyapon from time to time even if you are living separately. Parehas bla sa ila ni 3hya haw. They are living separately but kit.anay gyapon everyweek. Budlay bi dayon kay si Mei2 ma adjust man sa place, people, environment and language. Hehe… lain guro si ej sang una, feeling ko mas dasig sya mag adjust and mas kaya nya. Ambot ah…hehe…
3rd, i feel guilty for not spending more time with Ej and Mei2. Kapoy nako bi everytime i go home and it seems nga daw ka enough lang nga ga tulok ko sa ila, daw wla gid ko ka play gid sa ila as im supposed to.
4th, dako man adjustments sa ila ni papa and mama. Sang una si ej lang, subong 2 nagid sila. Hehe.. ahay, kaluoy… te mabata nalng ko para may lingaw sila dayon? :p Luoy man ko sa ila eh… subong palng daan mabatyagan mo na nga super gina lubos2 na nila time nila wiht mei2…
Will miss you too Car. Maskin bi wla ta mayo gid time together pero it just feels good to know that I will always have you everytime kilanglan ko. You have always been there and im always thankful for your kindness, cheers, love and concerns.
Hay, pero tuod, God has called you to go coz it is your calling gid na nga ikaw ang wife ni Mr. Joey Lo. Hahha… and that is what God wants for your family. So i will let you go with blessings.
God will definitely see you through. I’m sure things will not be the same kung wala kami didto but God will provide gid na sang tanan nyo nga needs. He will and it is my prayer gid that Your faith will remain strong and believe that He is a great God. His love endures forever. He is faithful and with God as your shepherd, you will not be in want. 
Btw, just a thought… i understand that you don’t want mei2 to be like ej nga ga ikog2 sa imo and that’s why sometimes gina distant mo imo self sa iya or you try not to get her too attached sa imo. Pls be careful lang nga there will be no negative effect sa iya.. like ang rejection. Kay sometimes naluoy ko sa iya kay daw ka rejected… ambot basi ako lang na. Pero I noticed she’s not as secured as kay ej sang una. Ej knew that he’s very secured gid pero maskin sang ara na si Mei2 we saw some manifestations nga medyo gaka insecure si Ej. Although i would consider it nga kung sang una wla mo gin secure si ej, guro mas lain pagid iya pagka insecure. It also made me think nga kung nga.a before wla ka ayawan kay ej, kay tungod you know him very well and you can handle him. Now ya, damo na contributions sa character ni Mei2 and di ikaw full time sa iya so mas insecure sya and ga bato. (These are just some thoughts, so i may be right and wrong man). Share ko lang
Love w/ blessings,
Gigi
hi Gi,
I appreciate you poured your heart out in this comment
Touched na touched gid ko sis (*wink*) I can feel the love you have for my kids and I can feel the friendship 
Thank you gid. Rest assured that no matter how far we are, the kids will always know you. If we have PAPA’S TIME here sa Bacolod, we’ll still have BACOLOD TIME in China. Just like sang time ni EJ when we went 
That way the kids can see everyday that you and the rest of the family love them.
As to your thought on Meimei, I’m in the process of writing a love letter to her explaining why things are different with her than with her ahia
I DO feel guilty sometimes because I allow her to spend more time with the rest of the family members and with people at the store… but I AM happy she knows that MAMA ISN’T her world and I am not the only person she needs… More of this in my letter for her. I do appreciate your thought on this so much… I understand you love her and it’s with much care that you shared it with me, THANK YOU.
Things will be very different in China and one of which is, she’ll spend more time with me because her ahia will be at school the whole day AND there’s just yaya, me and her. We’ll have learning English time and play times at the playground together and I’m excited too. PLUS, she’ll have her papa too! yippeee!!!
Indeed, it will be a huge adjustment for everyone. But the least that you should worry about is the little princess “Meimei”. Her innocence will surely surpass all your worries for her.
The other princess “Dindin” will now have all the attention she can get from Angkong and Ama, Achiak Alvin and Achim Debby and Koko Gigi. I’m sure she’ll be the happiest baby girl in bacolod. EJ and Meimei will surely miss her.
The kids are going to be just fine wherever they are. They’ll grow up with overflowing self-confidence beyond our imagination. The task of raising them is huge as they’re the future Ambassadors of our Faith. But God will see to it that it happens.
Another chapter in our lives is about to unfold, Let Go and Let God.